My maiden run in Beira…

It’s wed 6pm.Tomorrow is 12/12…Jamuhuri day, a day when I should sleep until I get bed sores…but no.., the gang has conspired to have me run in Ngong at 5am.’Should I take a flight to Mombasa?’ the thought crosses my mind…my watsapp pings…it’s Edu (wakili)..the threats have started coming.😳

Now if you are a night runner like me, you best have the lawyer as your friend….another ping…Jeez, it’s Rachael.(I don’t even read her message)..ok…no grapes tonight.I heed the call to run the hills.9.30pm I am in bed.No maize cobs tonight.(I think it was in captain’s presentation..sikumbuki.🙆🏽..something about conserving energy)..anyway we sleep…

The alarm goes off..I see that it’s 3am…(those children fiddled with my phone and set the wrong time?

Today they will know that I have 2 votes in this house!).I go back to sleep…the next voice I hear is Rachael’s..(kwani ako bedroom? 🥶🥶)..(Rozy, umefika?)…I felt like I was in high school and the matron has found me in bed, long after the alarm went😳…I respond like a typical Kenyan ‘yes, am almost there’…saa hizo niko na pajamas, stocking kwa kichwa, and different colours of socks😳.

It took me 7 minutes to get out of the house…drove like a mad man to Ola Galeria… Rachael calls asking where I am, kumbe she is waiting at Ola Langata…(these are the first signs that Ngong isn’t a good idea)..we meet up.. argue on who was in the right petrol station.Thankfully she is driving a German machine…as general says ‘ngong ni hapa tu’…we moved from langata to Ngong…strait! bypass haikutuona…we link up with the gents (thank you for waiting for us😘)…and nduthiman called bachelor… Nick is the acting captain….without the acting allowance🤑…

He briefs us (just like captain’s presentation, sikuelewa kitu…I only heard hills..corner…1.5km…hills…8km…he also gave a stern warning that we should appreciate the beauty that Ngong has to offer and not just run…(beauty+hills don’t go together🙃…it’s like taking tea and lukwads🤷🏾‍♂)I think Humphrey saw through me and was gracious enough to warm up with me…aliona huyu anaweza fika rongai.Off we went…🏃🏽‍♀🏃🏽‍♀…down the hill…then a few undulating ones…Humphrey kept the stories coming as I ate the hills one by one…

He joined the crew at the turn and I didn’t see him again until the finish…the run was scenic (the wind turbines just peeking through the clouds), the air was fresh and traffic was light.It was also downhill so the pace was good.

It was strange that there were many dogs on the road…looks like these ones didn’t make it to the Chinese dinner table..🍖🥘….ama hazikuwa za grade😏…I turn…and then I saw them..wawawa….the mountains😳…the hills had disappeared😳😳… across the ridge you could see the road…the one I was about to climb…Jeso, hiyo yote ni yangu?😳.

I start running,the legs, the turbo(chest) are not in sync…I wondered why the nduthiman was called bachelor because at that moment, if he had proposed, in exchange for a ride, I would consider🥴…up I ran…the mountain isn’t ending…

I know Kariakim lives in Ngong…which of these could be his house?Hapo ningeingia….(we will figure out what to tell the Mrs after I get a lift to Beira)…2kms gone…I have another 3…jeez, these hills…am having some non- heavenly thoughts..Rachael & Edu🔫💣…I should have just ran the 7.5 km charity run jana, ate some of Nick’s choma, perhaps some grapes and slept in😴😴.

My head is blank…no presentation from captain comes to mind…hata zile za last year….otire🙆🏽…I contemplate jumping on to a nduthi…after all, I planned to run 15km and now am at 18km…lakini what if I hop on and it’s a crazy nduthiman who decides to ride me into the hills?

Hapana…wacha ningangane…I meet drunky, he mumbled a few words about Kairetu,by this time, I have called Edu and Rachael by their native names😡😡…I turn into Beira…there is a 1.6km run to the Himalayas mountain…waaaa…na whose legs will run up there? Even the sign with NIC bank ilikataa kupanda hiyo mlima..ilibaki hapo kwa forest.I run up…my motivation is KCP taking me back home.I see the bIack sign…phew…it’s done, 22km…and just like I say in the delivery room, ‘huku sirudi!🙅🏽‍♂

‘…stretch…showers… then we head for breakfast.The tea was to die for…maziwa na majani ilitosha.The cook was on point..👍🏽….as we are about to order another flask, we see the male cook running at INEOS speed,the female waiter in hot pursuit🏃🏽‍♀🏃🏽‍♀…ala! Hii Ngong iko na maneno…did he steal something or did the waitress just discover how handsome he was?🥰…either way, there was no chance of having another cuppa…we bid each other farewell and KCP, here I come…we join the bypass and ghafla bin vu! Nick passes us…shwa shwa…weaving through cars…he must have been driving at 200kph.

Rachael and her German machine are in shock…nimi ninaendesha Japanese so siongei…🤬…we figured, Nick must be pressed,the question then was, pressed front or back?🤔…I said front…Rachael thought back😶…her reason was that Nick would have stopped on the side…but then again, we have lions and hyenas…how do you explain showing up at home without your tools?🤭…we concluded that it was the backside…Rachael proceeded to tell me about her backside experience…( when she finally got home, which was 300 meters, even switching off the car consumed too much time..handbag, viatu ziliachwa as she 1.59ed to the house🏃🏽‍♀🏃🏽‍♀…the housy thought thieves were after her…sijui Mr G alikuwa wapi (maybe in the armoury😊)…anyway, we get to my car, thankful to Rachael, Wakili, Nick, general, Captain and all ye folks who have persisted until I saw Beira…I hear Kahara is next…

…let me buy my ticket to Mombasa✈…this time for real…

Happy Jamuhuri day folks. Wacha nirudishie mwili asante🍷🍹